Safer To Hate Her
by Joshayley4ever
Summary: In love storys, girl meets boy. Boy charms girl, woes her. Girl falls hopelessly, heels-over-head in love with boy. Boy and Girl date, eventually get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Blah Blah Blah. If you were thinking this would turn out
1. Whatever Happened to You

In love storys, girl meets boy. Boy charms girl, woes her. Girl falls hopelessly, heels-over-head in love with boy. Boy and Girl date, eventually get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Blah Blah Blah. If you were thinking this would turn out to be just another typical sappy love story, then you were wrong. The story of us was far from one of those perfect, made up storybook loves. Mostly because those storys were all fictional, and no real couple out there was THAT perfect. I mean, lets be real here. But Taylor and I were as screwed up as they came. I loved him, but hated him. He was the biggest asswhole, yet the sweetest guy. Somehow he managed to be both at once. Confusing? Beyong belief...

So let me start from the beggining. My name is Hayley, I'm sixteen, and I grew up in the tiny town of Cordele, Georgia. It was one of those small, comfortable towns. Just small enough to still allow for that southern family feel, but also big enough to where we had many shops and resaraunts for the tourists. Churches were also plentiful, as we had one of every block. Litterally. Religion was a big part of just about everyones family in Cordele. Only a few familes attended every Sunday together, but at least one member from every family did. On Wednesdays us Teens went to our own service, but also attended Sundays with the adults. Needless to say, I loved being Christian. I loved everything about it, and my morals were strong. I beifed it was important to be respectful and treat every nice, even if they were rude to you. As lame as that possibly sounds. All of my aunts, uncles, grandma and grandpa's all lived near us, too. I'd go visit them all the time. So, anyways, I guess you could say that, to me at least, I had the perfect childhood. Until I turned thirteen, that is. See one night my father had came home, wasted beyond belief. He'd always been a heavy drinker, but this night was different. Momma tried calming him down, but Papa was just so under the influence that he could barely recognize us. That was the first time he hit us. I peeked my head around the corner and saw the whole thing. I saw him strick her, and she just fell to the floor; crying like crazy. She looked up and saw me at once, and that's when I saw the red. Blood was dripping from a sharp cut on her cheek, and small bruises were already forming around it. I cried too, them. I felt helpless, and scared. Before Daddy caught me watching, I hurried back to my room; locking the door, and hiding under the covers. I cried myself to sleep that night. Whenever I woke up, we simply packed our bags, Momma and I, and left that druken bastard.

We ended up in Franklin, a small subarb of Nashville in Tennesee. Momma got a job as a waitress as a local dinner not far from where we lived. Because my father had been the bread winner, we were stuck living in a small trailer across from the High School. It wasn't the best place we'd ever lived in, but it certainly wasn't the worse. The trailer consisted of one tiny bathroom, which also doubled as a laundry room, two small bedrooms, and a average size living room/kitchen. With some fresh paint, and some cleaning, the trailer was every bit as cozy as our old home had been.

Home schooling seemed like a good idea for me to finish off Middle School. I'd never really fit in with other kids my age. I was pretty shy, not very outspoken like the rest were. I'd strange passions for 60's bands and indie music. I didn't get into all that popular pop crap that they all seemed to worship. My dyed, bright red hair and weird sense of fashion weren't much help to fitting in with everyone else either. Most of the time, all I got from it were laughs from other kids or strange glares. So, thats what I did. I finished out 7th and 8th grade on an online school, and decided for Freshman year and High School, I'd try public school again. Of course that'd just turn out to be yet another mistake...

I was now sixteen years old, and beginning my first year at Franklin High School. In all my years of living here, I hadn't really gone out much. So it was a complete mystery to me as of how kids around here acted and dressed. I could only hope my luck for fitting in was better here, then down in Cordele. Again, I was wrong...I had the extreme displeasure of rushing to be on time and running right into Taylor York my very frist day. He was dressed in a Jimmy Eat World shirt, some ripped jeans, and a bright red beanie ontop of his curly hair. I was just about to speak up to apologize from knocking him down, and to complament his amazing shit, but he didn't even give me the time to speak up. He scrowled, collected his now scatterd items, and hurried off.

Geez, people in Franklin seemed to be uptight. Who knew that accidenly bumping into someone could piss them off that bad?

We ran into each other again just a few weeks later; well more like I ran into HIM,again. I'd been looking down at my class scheldule, and didn't really notice anyone else in the halls until my body collided into someone elses. I looked up to find it was the same guy, of course. His papers went flying across the hallway, and he looked pissed. This time it wasn't my all my fault. I reallly should've been paying more attention, but why the heck had he stopped right in the hallway, and he could've noticed me walking before we crashed too?

"Don't you know how to walk, new girl?" The boy practically growled at me. Oh yeah, he was pissed.

I was torn between flipping this kid off and retorting with some smart comment, and completely ignoring him. I settled with an eyeroll, "Actually I do, but I believe you might need to go back and relearn. It's left right left right left right..."

"I know how to walk, smartass. I was only stopped because I was reading the updates on the bulletin board," he pointed to a board hanging from the wall entitled Franklin News.

"Well...sorry, I guess. I should've been watching where I was walking instead on my schedule, "the name's Hayley, by the way. What's your name?"

"It's Taylor." He answered flatly, bending down to collect all of his papers. He seemed hurried, and it made me wonder what was so important about these papers that made him so protective of them. Anyways, I decided to stop wondering and mind my own business.

Sighing, I bent down too. "Here, I'll help you."

"Don't touch them." Taylor snapped, and it scared me a little. What was this kid's illness? He obviously has some type of anger issues. Thats when I noticed these weren't just any papers, they looked like songs. Pretty amazing songs, too. As I read the different lyrics, I couldn't help but be a little awed. Surely this annoying asswhole wasn't deep and poetic enough to compose all of these?

"Wow," I murmered, mostly to myself until Taylor over-heard.

"What?"

"Nothing," I replied, "just all of these songs, they're really good. Did you write them?"

I swear I saw Taylor York, someone I never thought would, smile. He quickly composed it, though. He just simply nodded, and I knew he was proud. Even a impressed comment from a complete stranger that he already hated because she didn't know how to stop bumping into him, probably mean a lot. It no lie either. Growing up, and being heavily influenced by music, I'd written songs myself...but none of anything I'd ever written was half as good. This kid was a genious.

"You should really go into the music business. Sing and record your own songs or whatever...I'd love to do that myself one day, but I need to accumlate enought skill in order to do that. People tell my I've got some pretty good pipes...but they could just be bias. It was family after all." I chuckled, probably rambling to some guy who didn't give a fuck about me.

He surpried me by laughting too, "Well, Hayley, why don't you show me what you've got? I'm in the auditorium after school pretty much everyday with my guitar, and Josh would love it if a pretty girl showed up for once. You should come by sometime."

With that, he left. I was still utterally surprised by his sudden mood change; was this kid possibly bipolar?

After school that day, I decided I'd go to the auditorium. It was the first time anyone had every invited me to hang out or do anything, so I was definatley turning the offer down. Besides, going straight home everyday was becoming a drag and mom wouldn't be home until later anyways. He shifts usually lasted until at last midnight or later. Opening the door the the High School's gigantic auditorium, I saw Taylor and some other kid up on stage. They both had guitars, and we're playing something that didn't quit sound together. So I just assumed they were tuning them or playing random notes. Another guy, who I hadn't even noticed was there, came running towards me. He looked a lot younger then us, and was kind of chubby. I could tell he was related to Josh, as they shared the same deep brown eyes.

He immediatly picked me up into a big bear hug me, taking me by surprise. When he finally set me back down and saw my expression, he laughed, "Ohh man, sorry dude. Didn't mean to creep you out or anything, I do that to everyone, I swear."

I relaxed and laughed too, "It's cool."

"I'm Zac, by the way."

"Hayley." I smiled.

Taylor and Josh finally noticed I'd come, and stopped playing. Josh set his guitar down and walked right over to me. He went with a more gentler approach then Zac had, and held out his hand instead.

"Hi, Hayley." He grinned, "sorry about Zac, by the way, He's just a tag along, and I have to let him because he'll whine to Mom if I don't."

I giggled, "It's really fine. It's actually just nice to see that people here are a lot nicer then where I'm from..."

"Oh, is that why you moved?" Josh asked.

I shook my head, not really wanting to continue on with that conversation. I hadn't really spoken about that night with my dad, and why we left with anyone. All of my relatives were stilll down in Georgia and most didn't even own a phone, so I wasn't able to keep in contact with them for the most part. Sometimes it frustrated me that I couldn't talk with anyone about it, and I was dying to get it out there but Momma made me promise it'd be our little secret, so that it was. Taylor, Josh, Zac and I stayed there for hours. I watched them play for a while, learned that Zac was actually really beastly at playing drums, and even let them hear me sing. They all said they couldn't believe how good I was, and for the next few months we met after school everyday.


	2. Always Attract

Heyy fanfictioners(: Thanks to the people who took the time to review the last part, it really helps motivate me to continue with this story. So hopefully part two won't disappoint. 3

To answer "Tayley" ;

_**Hey! Just a question...do you have a buzznet account? I remember reading Love is like a bullet to the brain there...**_

Yep, that was me! :) I'm not on there anymore though...

Please read && review! (:

On with the story...

_Previously;_

_"Wow," I murmured, mostly to myself until Taylor over-heard._

_"What?"_

_"Nothing," I replied, "just all of these songs, they're really good. Did you write them?"_

_I swear I saw Taylor York, someone I never thought would, smile. He quickly composed it, though. He just simply nodded, and I knew he was proud. Even a impressed comment from a complete stranger that he already hated because she didn't know how to stop bumping into him, probably mean a lot. It no lie either. Growing up, and being heavily influenced by music, I'd written songs myself...but none of anything I'd ever written was half as good. This kid was a genius._

_"You should really go into the music business. Sing and record your own songs or whatever...I'd love to do that myself one day, but I need to accumulate enough skill in order to do that. People tell my I've got some pretty good pipes...but they could just be bias. It was family after all." I chuckled, probably rambling to some guy who didn't give a fuck about me._

_He surprised me by laughing too, "Well, Hayley, why don't you show me what you've got? I'm in the auditorium after school pretty much everyday with my guitar, and Josh would love it if a pretty girl showed up for once. You should come by sometime."_

_With that, he left. I was still utterly surprised by his sudden mood change; was this kid possibly bipolar?_

_After school that day, I decided I'd go to the auditorium. It was the first time anyone had every invited me to hang out or do anything, so I was definitely turning the offer down. Besides, going straight home everyday was becoming a drag and mom wouldn't be home until later anyways. He shifts usually lasted until at last midnight or later. Opening the door the High School's gigantic auditorium, I saw Taylor and some other kid up on stage. They both had guitars, and we're playing something that didn't quit sound together. So I just assumed they were tuning them or playing random notes. Another guy, who I hadn't even noticed was there, came running towards me. He looked a lot younger then us, and was kind of chubby. I could tell he was related to Josh, as they shared the same deep brown eyes._

_He immediately picked me up into a big bear hug me, taking me by surprise. When he finally set me back down and saw my expression, he laughed, "Ohh man, sorry dude. Didn't mean to creep you out or anything, I do that to everyone, I swear."_

_I relaxed and laughed too, "It's cool."_

_"I'm Zac, by the way."_

_"Hayley." I smiled._

_Taylor and Josh finally noticed I'd come, and stopped playing. Josh set his guitar down and walked right over to me. He went with a more gentler approach then Zac had, and held out his hand instead._

_"Hi, Hayley." He grinned, "sorry about Zac, by the way, He's just a tag along, and I have to let him because he'll whine to Mom if I don't."_

_I giggled, "It's really fine. It's actually just nice to see that people here are a lot nicer then where I'm from..."_

_"Oh, is that why you moved?" Josh asked._

_I shook my head, not really wanting to continue on with that conversation. I hadn't really spoken about that night with my dad, and why we left with anyone. All of my relatives were still down in Georgia and most didn't even own a phone, so I wasn't able to keep in contact with them for the most part. Sometimes it frustrated me that I couldn't talk with anyone about it, and I was dying to get it out there but Momma made me promise it'd be our little secret, so that it was. Taylor, Josh, Zac and I stayed there for hours. I watched them play for a while, learned that Zac was actually really beastly at playing drums, and even let them hear me sing. They all said they couldn't believe how good I was, and for the next few months we met after school everyday._

Franklin High School had turned out a lot better than I had expected. It was weird to even think that back before my first day; I was so unbelievably reluctant to attend. It took my mother weeks in advance of convincing, as my mother wasn't the smoothest of talkers, but she did know how to push my buttons. She brought home double chocolate fudge, and red velvet cake and we stayed up watching her collection of Slasher movies. She admitted to me that she was worried; that I'd become more distant and closed off, even from her and if I didn't act soon, I'd close myself off from the rest of the world forever...I wasn't outgoing by any means, but I couldn't imagine never being in contact with anyone besides my mother for the rest of my life.

So, I agreed. Thank god I did, because Zac, Josh, and even Taylor (sometimes) turned out to be great friends. After months of hanging around them, I'd analyzed pretty much everything about them. Zac was the funny man. Whenever tension rose with us, he'd crack a joke; we'd all laugh, and everything worked out. He was like a knight in shining tinfoil for this group. Zac also liked to eat, and I mean A LOT! He reminded me of an adorable kid brother; I'd never knew I'd wanted until I met him. Josh...well, he seemed very outgoing. Pretty much every girl in school through themselves at him, and he happily basked in the glory of that. He wasn't like Zac or Taylor at all, in the sense that he would ditch us after school a lot or he'd bring a bunch of girls in to watch us. I wasn't going to sing in front of a bunch of bimbos I'd avoided my whole life. so that pretty much ended those practices. Josh wasn't too bad though, and he was actually really sweet and a great friend once you looked past the whole conceited douchebag side he had.

Taylor Benjamin York...he was shy, very shy. I'd learned this changed whenever he talked to me, though. It was as if something possessed him and made him hate me to the very core, but yet Taylor would finally arrive and be nice to me. I was seriously considering him to be bi-polar or maybe even have a split personality. It wasn't something I ever got used to, but it was simply ignored. Taylor told me that he came from a large family; seven sisters, Lucy, Annaleigh, Ruby, Sarah, Kate, Zoe, and Bethany. I also learned his older brother was in the Navy, and he was off somewhere on the other side of the world. Taylor was closest with his brother, so it was really hard for him to deal without him. His real dad was a car salesman somewhere in the state of Washington, and he didn't like to mention his mom a lot. Just that she was very ill, and had been that way for years. Taylor liked to write, and had a whole folder full of old songs he'd written; the folder I'd knocked all over the hallway on the day we met. One night, he even let me read a few.

"The first song I wrote was in first grade." He told me, "it was called 'Bees'."

The first few lines of the song he'd handed me went something like, 'Bees are cool, Bees just rule', though it was hard to make out with how messy Taylor's handwritten had been back in grade school. I kept reading, and found myself laughing at the simplicity of this random song. But I also loved it. It was hilarious.

"We should try playing this amazing piece of art, Tay." I teased.

He stuck his tongue out, "Like you've never written anything embarrassing, Hay."

I giggled, "Hay and Tay? We're a match made in heaven."

To my surprise, he blushed, "I'm sure Josh wouldn't mind cooking us up a niece guitar riff to go with this beauty." He gestured to his bee song, changing the subject apparently.

I nodded, "He'd love to after he dies laughing, almost like I did."

Nights like those were rare. Mostly we spent the whole time fighting over nothing, and mostly because I'd do something he didn't like. I really didn't understand this dysfunctional friendship we'd struck up. For some reason, though, I loved it. Taylor and I spent the rest of the time, when we weren't cracking on his song, talking about other things. We talked mostly about our escape plans for a Zombie apocalypse, and of other songs we'd written. I don't know how, but he somehow convinced me to let him come over to my house so he could read some of my work. 'It was only fair', as he'd said. But I didn't show anyone my personal songs, so I was hoping he'd forget before tomorrow. Of course, Tay didn't.

Bright and early, the next morning, I woke up to a loud banging on the door. Walking out to open it, and realizing it was Taylor and I still had embarrassing bed head from last night. Internally, I was freaking out. Especially when he cracked up laughing. What was his problem anyways? Seriously no one but Taylor woke up this early on a Saturday.

"Wow, you decided not to dress today?" He teased, "Your hair looks like a birds nest."

"Shut up!" I snapped, "Just because you enjoy waking up at - " I paused to look over at the wall clock and then back to him " - eight in the morning, on a Saturday nonetheless, don't mean I do."

My arms were crossed tightly over my chest as I glared at him, seeings as I'd been woken up so early. I was cranky.

"Chill out, Hayley. We fight enough...can't we just be peaceful for a day?" He said softly, almost pleading, and this surprised me, "I'm sorry for assuming you'd be awake, but I was just teasing. You look beautiful, so can we just go read your songs now?"

I smiled a little, and told him to follow me. When we got back to my room, he popped down on my bed, as I quickly ran a brush through my hair. It still looked tangled and frizzy after I was done, but I didn't try bothering with it anymore. Under my bed, a bright red folder with batman stickers covering the front lay. Tay didn't waste anytime, opening the folder and reading quickly. It was hard to watch, as most of these songs were filled with my inner most personal thoughts and views. I hadn't even showed my mom half of them; in fact most of these were about her.

Taylor read quickly, "What's this one about?"

He held up the one entitled 'Rewind', and I cursed in my head. I'd almost forgotten all about that song, which was about the abuse my father had put my mom in. Seeing it now made me want to cry, as all the memories from that time seemed to flood back and it felt just as real as the day it happened; even though that day was years and years ago. I shook my head, and lowered my eyes. Hopefully he'd see it wasn't something I was ever going to speak up about, and let it go. Taylor was too stubborn for that though, he grabbed my hand.

My heart skipped a beat, and I looked up shocked. Why is he holding my hand?

"Hayley, look I understand this may be hard to answer. But I'm worried, and did someone...um, abuse you?" His eyes filled with nothing but sadness and he looked as though he might cry too.

I shook my head, "No, it's about someone else. My mother...she was abused. That's why we moved here."

"Oh god, Hayles, I'm so sorry. Something about you always made me think something was up, but I didn't think it'd be anything like that..."

"How were you to know? I never told anyone, so don't blame yourself," I pleaded sincerely, "but can you answer something for me now? I wanna know what made you hate me so much..."

He sighed, "I never hated you. I just don't like getting close to girls anymore..."

"What happened?"

"Last year there was a girl named Nicole. She was new, very pretty, and for some reason interested in me. Nicole was a whole grade above me though, so I guess I was just a naive sophomore to her. She led me on, and one night at some party we had sex. The next day at school she admitted that that's all she wanted from the beginning, and later on I found her making out with some random guy in the hallway. I was totally devastated, and so I told myself that I'd never be so easily tricked by another girl. So when I saw you, and saw how pretty you were, I needed to make sure you wouldn't ever be interested in me. So I figured the only way to do that was to be as rude as I could to you, and so I did. Only you started hanging out with us, and I realized how awesome you were. It got harder to hate you...so I guess now I've given up the act. I'm willing to pay the price, because you should know that I really like you. I mean really, really like you Hayley."

"I- I like you, too...Taylor, I'm just so surprised. I can't believe someone would do that to you, but I always knew you weren't as mean as you let on." I smirked.

He shrugged, "Like I said it was a hard act to put on sometimes."

"Soo..." I began, not really knowing what would come next.

"Soo, " Tay repeated, "I guess all that's left for me to ask is something I've wanted to ask since the day I layed eyes on you. Hayley, will you puhlease, be my date for prom?" I grinned, nodding like crazy.

It's funny how things can change.

_It'd be safer to __hate__ her,  
>then to <em>_love__ her and __lose__ her  
>It'd be safer to hate her,<br>all around..._


End file.
